Tags
Australia, crash, fly, Great Ocean Road, murder, pornography, red-back, road trip, spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the water spout.
Origin unknown
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
<Skipped the beginning>
I took a shine to her, and she did to me when I asked her to join me for dinner at a local NoMSG Asian restaurant. Fortunately for her they served a decent chicken tikka masala; fortunately for me they also had a very acceptable tom yum kung. We ate, we drank and we talked. We talked about our journies and what they had taught us. We hit it off well, for some of the lessons learnt were recognisable, and it had been quite a while for either of us since we’d been with anyone. So when the restaurant cloesed, we found ourselves kissing in her campervan where, only a little while later, she went itsy bitsy spider, slid down my semen spout.
Als je het hele hoofdstuk wil lezen, in het Nederlands, bestel het boek Bekentenissen van mijn leven als spin hier.
If you want to read the entire chapter, order the book Confessions of my life as a spider here – it’s shipping world wide.
Daddy said... 
I’m beginning to see how you materialized me. Like cops create robbers and sinners produce saints, spiders materialize aware flies like me. I can feel the web of your personality encircling me through your stories and at a certain level I see how real your stories are. But I have been dealing with spiders a long time now and welcome the challenge.
I’ve only cast a few webs. Very few indeed, compared to the number of orgasms I confess here. I’m wondering which of these webs will eventually be the one that catches you…
You are an amusing spider! I updated my story.
Luckily she wasn’t asleep on you, it would’ve been more difficult than pushing the van (not body shaming here, just)
I can handle statements of fact. And I love the yo momma jokes, event though I’m not allowed to make them.
It’s all in the planning. If you plan carefully, you can prevent her from falling asleep on top of you. Webs are meticulously designed; I can plan precisely.