Daddy said… (7)

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daddy said, Vanity

“You know what the problem is? Too many women have slept their way to the high reaches of success. That’s why we judge all books by their covers!”

So I went out and reflected.

At first I looked back, and I didn’t need to go far back, to find one that perfectly fit my daddy’s complaint. A woman who worked her way to great heights on the social ladder through the lust and desire of powerful men. A woman of whom it’s debatable if she deserves the sympathy she gets, and a woman who has inspired many around the globe, to pay more attention to the way they look. The lady in question, of course is Mata Hari.

But I didn’t end my search here; I looked a bit further back, and realised that already since Adam and Eve we have been conscious about our appearances. They started covering themselves! Be it out of shame, they still tried it gracefully!

So was my daddy right?

No, I don’t think so. You can’t blame a rabbit for doing it often! You can’t blame a peacock for its feathers! It’s not the successfully promiscuous’ fault that we’re judged by the way we appear – and thus pay more attention to how we ourselves appear in the mirror. They’ve only abused the system to reach powerful positions; but I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, power is the real magnet. For power, we’ll do anything! Including dressing up and slimming down.

As real beauty is still rare (if it wasn’t, it would instantly become normal), what is there to do for us ugly lot? The answer is in the question: we are with many, thus we have the power. Don’t accept it any longer that we’re expected to look our best, to get the best positions. Don’t accept it from the good-looking lot that they can tell us what to do, no questions asked. I suggest a revolt against the tyranny of beauty. All this requires is uniform ugliness, and the best way to do this is to adhere to a strict dress code. Use orange socks as earrings, wear a bright red clown’s nose when in public, and for those in colder climates, top that with a bright pink hat; all the same for men, women, boys and girls.

It will take a while, but sooner or later, this message will have spread to the whole world, and the power will no longer lie in the hands of those sinners addicted to the mirror!

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2009; the first of the deadly sins.

Daddy said… (6)

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daddy said, pedophile

“You know what the problem is? Now that men and women are equal, they don’t have time for each other any more, so men take out their sexual frustration on those who do have time…”

So I went out and had a look.

I did indeed find many a couple who lived in the same house, but spent barely any time together because of demanding jobs. Most of them would, when asked in passing, spend more time with the other if they could. And the more demanding the job, the lower the cheating rate. With hindsight, I found that rather easy to understand: it takes free time to consider one’s co-workers.

My search was going nowhere, as I was only encountering people with a lack of time, but no one displaying any sexual frustration; the worst frustration I found was regarding the inefficiency of certain companies. And only then a very sinister thought hit me. There is a certain time in life when we have all the time in the world. And that is not a time during which you can enter every part of the video-store.

I barely dared research this, for fear of ending up traumatised, so all I did was scratch the surface. And what came up was shocking enough. I am aware that some people get off on the weirdest things, but how can it be enjoyable if you walk away from the act with nothing but a humongous sense of guilt?

So was my daddy right?

It appears not so. You can’t blame a dog for mating whoever when the time is right! You can’t blame a grey-crowned babbler for doing his sister! But animals lack the sense of right and wrong, like we do. And even animals wait till the potential partner’s age is right.

Now that being busy is ruled out to prevent children from being scarred for life, what can we do to prevent this horror? Pointing out that it is unnatural, is also useless, as man does so much that isn’t natural…

It doesn’t take money, or pledges. It doesn’t take an ingenious police force, nor candles lit in commemoration. Candles, by the by, are far too romantic for such an horrendous act. All we need to do is educate all people properly on the passage of time, and that children, too, have the right to liberty – liberty to choose freely. Even though everything is relative, we can’t all enjoy the same experiences at the same time. A child needs to circle the sun a couple of times before it can withstand our desires; it first needs to be educated to know what the freedom to choose entails. We are three dimensional beings, locked in the fourth. Do things at the appropriate time only. It’s not that hard to understand…

For those readers young enough no to know what a video-store is, or was… It was a place where you had to go to get a thingy, take that thingy home, in order to watch a part of Netflix.

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2009. I decided to repost it now, as I read in the news that for years there was a pedophile network running with the foster care system in Berlin.

Daddy said… (5)

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daddy said, slavery

“You know what the problem is? This whole world is up-side-down: we go on working-holidays, and we have a holiday on ‘labour day’. That’s why there’s paid leave, but still unpaid labour!”

So I went up above, and down under, and had a look.

The Australian embassy advertises working-holiday visas. People actually go on holiday to that place, to work. But that’s not so bad, in a way. These wourists (working tourists), actually get paid for their efforts. Not everyone is so lucky.

Here’s a scenario. You’re a city kid, love your parties, and your friends. Your biggest possession is a large piece of land, ready to grow rice, somewhere in the sticks. You hate the sun, you hate labour, and worse, you need your money for your parties. As rice doesn’t grow by itself, you get some people to grow it for you; and if it doesn’t grow well enough, you whip them. That sounds like a decent solution, doesn’t it?

This is how it still goes, in many places around the world. There are all kinds of slaves. There are house-slaves, field-slaves, factory-slaves, mine-slaves, wage-slaves, sex-slaves and indentured servants. Most of these imply work without pay. Some work with pay, but not nearly enough. And despite the good initiative by the Roman Empire in 388 AD, there still are many work-slaves the world over.

So was my daddy right?

I don’t think so. Yes, many things in this world are upside down, but you can’t blame a bat for roosting that way! You can’t blame an ant for its working habits! Slavery isn’t caused by us working down-under, or by the Chinese having a week off around May first!

But therein does lie the answer. Man wasn’t made to lie around and do nothing. It’s not healthy, not for spirit, nor for body. Man was made to be active, and thus we should spend our holidays, and thus not be dependent on goods produced by slaves – or pay a fair price, so a fair price can be paid for labour. To stay healthy of mind and body, we could first clean our own house, then grow our own food, pay every employee a fair share of the bonus that would otherwise have gone to the CEO, masturbate more and do at home whatever indentured servants do. The only slaves we still have are the factory and mine-slaves; but I’m guessing that, with the bonus money, we can afford a fair price – and insist Apple stops using slaves.

If everyone who can choose whether to serve or be served on May first, does something like this, soon enough everyone in the world will have this choice, and slavery will truly be a thing of the past.

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’ve updated the technology, here and there, and added some links to news stories. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2009.

Daddy said… (4)

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daddy said, insomnia, spiders

“You know what the problem is, insomniacs are just too lazy to work hard enough to get tired during the day, so they can’t sleep at night!”

So I went to bed and tried it. I took a pile of books with me, and a Nintendo Switch to stay awake. This was the laziest way I could think of. I read – slowly, easy reads books, you know the ones that are TV in your hands. I played, games for six year-olds (I am no longer six). And I stayed awake. I had room service bring me food three times that day, and something to drink. And I stayed awake. But guess what, when I reached 24 hours with my eyes open, I was tired. I could’ve slept there and then, but I didn’t give up.

I started reading Catch 22, and when I was close to 36 hours awake, I came across a guy who dreams that he can’t sleep, and wakes up so tired that he falls right back to sleep. I forgot his name, but he must be the ultimate insomniac; someone with a messed up mind.

So was my daddy right?

It doesn’t seem so! You can’t blame a Koala for needing sleep to digest its food! You can’t blame an owl for hunting at night! I did nothing, stayed awake, and I still got tired!

No, insomnia must have another cause, one that can not be faked. A song stuck in your head, can be the obvious cause, but it’s just a symptom of an underlying bit of stress. Stress makes you unable to relax, and if you can’t relax – sleepless nights automatically follow.

But insomnia can be solved, and for the solution we should turn to the infinite wisdom in the tales of the life of Mohammad, the prophet.

It is said that when someone complained to him that this someone couldn’t sleep, he advised to take many animals into the sleeping quarters. Among which were cows, pigs, geese and chickens. This only caused the said insomniac to be unable to sleep due to the fidgeting of the zoo. When he returned to the prophet, He ordered the animals removed, and due to the sudden silence, the person slept soundly.

The wisdom here is invaluable to any insomniac. Just live through several nights with as many distractions in the bedroom or sleeping quarters as possible. A zoo is a seven hundred years old solution. Other methods can be attempted these days; a female dog with an Abyssinian cat springs to mind. This will pretty much automatically relieve you of a lot of stress, and the added exercise will most certainly create the right conditions for a good night sleep.

Of course for the female insomniacs, I would suggest large roosters, and to stay away from spiders; but the effect is the same.

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’ve updated the technology, here and there. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2008, with some added details to fit 2020. This particular post appears now, as the topic reminded me of WildHeart’s poem.

Daddy said… (3)

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daddy said, racism

“You know, the problem with the world is, there are too many the foreigners. They’re all taking our jobs, and on top of that, they’re too lazy to work!”

So I went out and had a look.

I stepped outside my door, and to my great surprise, I found foreigners absolutely all over the place. The fact that I don’t live in the country I was born in, may or may not have contributed to the fact that most of the people I found were alien to me; about 4 to 5 foot tall, with black hair and squinty eyes.

None of them had my job though, and they were all quite busy – if it was work they were doing, I couldn’t tell. There were obviously more foreigners here than in my own country; in the hour or so I walked around my house, I saw only one other like myself…

Then I zoomed out, and found places where people of different colour lived together, yet neither was considered a foreigner. And there too, most people appeared busier than bees. Especially those paid very little for their efforts worked really hard. It seemed to me that the more money they had, the less they did! And also, apparently, the darker the skin, the more often they got shot. If that were my family, I would riot too…

So was my daddy right?

I don’t think so. You can’t blame the pig for walking forward when you pull its tail! You can’t blame Garfield for liking lasagne! Everyone is a foreigner somewhere, and you can’t blame the foreigners for being too lazy to work. The only thing that made Garfield move, was a guilt trip about a dog he secretly loved. The only thing that’ll make us move, is something we all love. It comes in many colours and shapes, sizes and actions. And it truly is the only thing man will do anything for! They’d do it with each other, they’d even do it with a spider; they’d even do it if it killed them.

It’s interesting to see that it is a dog-in-a-manger kind of jealousy taking hold of my daddy. This happens when someone whom he considers an outsider is trying to get a fair share for himself, instead of baking in a cardboard box somewhere on a footbridge in Thailand, or getting suffocated somewhere in Minneapolis. It’s interesting to see that even though my daddy pays more tax in a month, than the average Thai makes in a year, he’s so scared of some Thais sharing his wealth. It seems it’s not the foreigners that need fixing, it’s my daddy.

While they say it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, it is easier than that to get those people who hate people to be more loving. Everyone who’s open minded enough to see we’re all foreigners somewhere, should love a foreigner. Nicely, tenderly. Gently. Or not so tenderly, if you’re both into that, but most certainly out in the open, show you’re together. Spread the love, and the action. Show the world how enjoyable a foreigner you can be! And before you know it, this confuses the narrow minded the world over into oblivion.

And on top of that, it’s very pleasant indeed! Also for the onlookers.

Adapted from a previous post on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2009, with some added details to fit 2020. Disclaimer: the casual racism is on (literary) purpose, and does not reflect my true beliefs about humans the world over.