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“You know what the problem is, insomniacs are just too lazy to work hard enough to get tired during the day, so they can’t sleep at night!”

So I went to bed and tried it. I took a pile of books with me, and a Nintendo Switch to stay awake. This was the laziest way I could think of. I read – slowly, easy reads books, you know the ones that are TV in your hands. I played, games for six year-olds (I am no longer six). And I stayed awake. I had room service bring me food three times that day, and something to drink. And I stayed awake. But guess what, when I reached 24 hours with my eyes open, I was tired. I could’ve slept there and then, but I didn’t give up.

I started reading Catch 22, and when I was close to 36 hours awake, I came across a guy who dreams that he can’t sleep, and wakes up so tired that he falls right back to sleep. I forgot his name, but he must be the ultimate insomniac; someone with a messed up mind.

So was my daddy right?

It doesn’t seem so! You can’t blame a Koala for needing sleep to digest its food! You can’t blame an owl for hunting at night! I did nothing, stayed awake, and I still got tired!

No, insomnia must have another cause, one that can not be faked. A song stuck in your head, can be the obvious cause, but it’s just a symptom of an underlying bit of stress. Stress makes you unable to relax, and if you can’t relax – sleepless nights automatically follow.

But insomnia can be solved, and for the solution we should turn to the infinite wisdom in the tales of the life of Mohammad, the prophet.

It is said that when someone complained to him that this someone couldn’t sleep, he advised to take many animals into the sleeping quarters. Among which were cows, pigs, geese and chickens. This only caused the said insomniac to be unable to sleep due to the fidgeting of the zoo. When he returned to the prophet, He ordered the animals removed, and due to the sudden silence, the person slept soundly.

The wisdom here is invaluable to any insomniac. Just live through several nights with as many distractions in the bedroom or sleeping quarters as possible. A zoo is a seven hundred years old solution. Other methods can be attempted these days; a female dog with an Abyssinian cat springs to mind. This will pretty much automatically relieve you of a lot of stress, and the added exercise will most certainly create the right conditions for a good night sleep.

Of course for the female insomniacs, I would suggest large roosters, and to stay away from spiders; but the effect is the same.

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’ve updated the technology, here and there. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2008, with some added details to fit 2020. This particular post appears now, as the topic reminded me of WildHeart’s poem.