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“You know what the problem is? Nobody appreciates all that I’ve made. That’s why I have to present the crap like a peacock!”

So I went out to have a look.

At first I took this message very personally, and I started looking at what my daddy had made. It didn’t take me long to figure out that my daddy’s real legacy was me, and that it was me presenting his ideas, not the other way round.

I soon realised that he wasn’t talking about himself, but about many of the inventors out there. Where are their attempts to make something good? Nowadays, the stuff you buy usually doesn’t do what is advertised. Water cookers that don’t shut off. Bread toasters that either make warm bread, or burnt scraps, but never toast. Operating systems that suck, vacuum cleaners that don’t

And yet, the companies selling these things present them as if they would make life better, instead of worse. They seem to believe it themselves, and we, the public, get punished for their feigned trustworthiness.

So was my daddy right?

I don’t think so. You can’t blame a paradise bird for its colours! You can’t blame a cat for acting like a diva! It’s not that nobody appreciates what is being made, it’s that the inventors are being pushed beyond the limit so what they make truly is crap.

To halt this arrogance, we need not be innovative, but smart. Don’t use lawnmowers as hedge cutters, as that will cost you all your fingers, and a lawsuit has already come to pass. Avoid personal injury, but use things what they were not meant for. Be creative. Grow flowers in a water cooker that doesn’t work properly. Boil water on an overheating CPU running a hung up computer. While your computer is at it, instead of the screen saver, fill up your old monitor with water and have a real Nemo in there. If you then can no longer read your favourite blog, just wait till it comes out as a real book so you can actually read them at your leisure, lying in bed.

Soon enough the people at the helm hunting for bigger profits with worse material, will understand that we’ve become creative with their crap, and don’t need their products that badly any more. Then they will hire true genius and the products on the shelves in your local shops will be truly useful again.

Previously posted on My.Opera, when they still had a blogging service. I’m rerunning the Daddy Said series here; when I feel like, I’ll write a new episode. This one I wrote in 2009; the seventh of the deadly sins.